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There is no cloth diaper service for Ventura County, Santa Barbara and surrounding areas. For many new parents, this discovery is the beginning of the end of cloth diapering their baby. The perception that washing cloth diapers at home is "inconvenient, " combined with the limited availability of cloth diaper services around the country, has made cloth diapering a dying art.
This is a shame, because if more parents gave cloth diapering a real chance, they would find that using and washing cloth diapers at home can be a source of pride and expression of love and devotion to their new child. Additionally, cloth diapering just one child prevents 4,000-6,000 disposable diapers from entering the landfill (1) and saves a significant amount of the Earth's precious resources- approximately 300 pounds of wood and 50 pounds of petroleum per baby per year (2)!
Home cloth diapering is no more inconvenient than any other chore- one of many "new chores" that first-time parents learn to incorporate into their family's daily routine. While cloth diaper services are truly miraculous- each week the pile of 70 soiled cloth diapers left on your porch is magically transformed into a neat stack of fresh, white ones- the absence of a service is basically just the difference of adding two or three extra loads to your home laundering routine each week.
The debate over which is better, home cloth diapering or cloth diaper service, is a moot point for Ventura County and Santa Barbara area residents at the moment. However, it is nice to know that home cloth diapering does have several benefits over using a diaper service.
1. Home washing saves money. The average cost of a diaper service is about $70 per month (3), plus you often have to buy or rent covers for an additional cost. Washing cloth diapers at home, including utilities, is less than half that cost (4).
2. There are several environmental benefits to home washing. Cloth diaper services require less water per diaper than washing at home. However, to get those diapers white and sanitary, cloth diaper services have to use scalding hot water and bleach. Presuming only your baby is using your cloth diapers, there is no need for extreme sterilization. Also, washing at home gives the option of line drying, which will naturally bleach and sanitize diapers and is 100% solar powered. There's also the fuel savings- no need for a delivery truck when you wash at home.
3. Another benefit of washing cloth diapers at home, is that you get to choose exactly the diapers, covers and accessories you prefer- be as cute, high-tech or practical as you want.
Home cloth diapering can be convenient, simple and affordable, and is loads more ecological and healthy for your baby than disposable diapers. Even the most old-fashioned method of using cotton diapers, pins and rubber pants, can be as quick of a diaper change as with a disposable in skilled hands. But lucky for parents today, most cloth diapering systems only require knowing how to operate Velcro.
Parents that opt for a stack of organic cotton, pre-fold diapers, a few high-quality covers, cotton wipes and a laundry tote, can get away with spending more or less $400 (5) on diapering from birth to potty training, plus a little extra each month on utilities. By comparison, July 2009 Consumer Reports says that parents who use disposables can expect to spend $1,500 to $2,000 more on diapers (6).
The most important reason to cloth diaper, even in the absence of a cloth diaper service, is for the health of your baby and the health of the world he or she will grown up in. Disposable diapers are most children's first daily exposure to plastics and other chemicals. The truth is, that like many of our daily activities, diapering our children in disposables is not sustainable, and any so-called convenience will be lost to the environmental and municipal crisis created by the consumption of 27.4 billion disposable diapers each year (7).
The good news is, that it is never too late to change. Even if your baby is now walking and talking but still wearing those Pampers, you can switch to cloth. You'll still save money and resources. Each month that you dress your baby in sweet, soft cloth diapers, you prevent 150-300 disposables from entering the landfill (8). Plus, the transition to cloth, will help encourage your little one to potty train in no time, and you can both wash your hands of this whole darn diaper business.
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Monica Marshall is the owner of Baby Belle Bottoms. Baby Belle Bottoms offers free cloth diaper workshops in Ventura County and is a cloth diaper Internet store.
www.babybellebottoms.com
NEW PARENT ADJUSTMENT TEST
Warning: You are now entering a roller coaster ride like none other. You have never been totally responsible for another human being before, you have never experienced this type of hormonal upheaval, you have never been forced to function on so little sleep, you have never had a job that you cannot quit. You have never been a parent before. You have been blessed with a job that will cause you to grow in ways you never even imagined. Very few succeed without some stress. Some suffer more than necessary.
Most fall somewhere in the middle. To help you evaluate where you stand, look at this questionnaire and please seek the support you need if it helps you to recognize that your usual coping mechanisms are not working.
Instructions: Write a number in the blank indicating to what degree the statement is true or untrue for you and your partner.
Very much Very much untrue for us 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 true for us
___1. One of us gets at least five consecutive hours of sleep at night
___2. Our exercise habits have suffered quite a bit.
___3. We argue more than we used to.
___4. The household workload seems unfairly divided.
___5. One of us provides the majority of babycare.
___6. We have more disagreements about money than we used to.
___7. Communication between us is strained.
___8. There is friction between us regarding babycare styles.
___9. We both feel we have no time for ourselves.
___10.We do not show appreciation for each other the way we used to.
___11. We are not eating as well as we used to.
___12. We both feel misunderstood by the other.
___13. We often bring the baby to the doctor's and are told he (she) is fine.
___14.We did not expect our life to be like this after having the baby.
Add up the numbers in the left hand column to determine your total score.
If your score is more than 75 your family is showing more signs of stress than the typical new parent family. You should consult with a trusted friend, family member,your doctor or one of the local services offering support for new parents. If your score is under 75, you are handling the stress as well as most, build on your strengths (where you scored 1-3).
Local support services:
Postpartum Education for Parents(PEP) Warmline: 564-3888
CALM: 965-2376 - Sojourn Services: 965-0309 - Great Beginnings: 965-2376
This test was adapted from a stress test by Dr. Richard Earle, Canadian Institute of Stress by Janet Lengsfelder, R.N. MFT
A Legacy of Love
Your world and your baby's world are intimately intertwined during pregnancy at every level of your being: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. You are both held within a cocoon of moment-to-moment shared experiences, intimate communication, and a communion that goes beyond logic and reason or even conscious awareness. Like a synchronized dance, each of you is leading and responding to the other's being. The quality of your life and state of mind and the quality of the relationship you form with your baby before birth has a tremendous influence on the quality of your child's life over the lifespan. Here are some simple principles that come from a blend of leading edge science and ancient wisdom to help you learn how to ensure a life-long legacy of love for your baby.
Understanding our earliest relationship experiences from the baby's point of view and how these experiences set in motion life patterns has been the intense study of Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology (PPN) for over 30 years. The new discipline of Primary Psychology uses this lens to focus on our earliest human experience from preconception through baby's first postnatal year and its role in creating children who thrive and become resilient, loving adults. What we are learning from the baby's point of view reveals more of the mysteries and secrets of mother-baby bonding during pregnancy and the life-long legacy of our first relationship, and supports the deepest mother wisdoms. Until recently, 0 to 3 years has been seen as the critical developmental period for building optimal brain development, attachment, self-regulation, emotional intelligence, and resiliency. Now PPN clinical findings reveal that the prenatal and birth period is when the core blueprint for life patterns are established. Thus, creating the optimal conditions and investing in a positive relationship during pregnancy is of the highest priority.
Babies have shown us that they are more conscious, aware, and capable of connecting with their mothers than has been previously thought in Western cultures. From the beginning of life, their innate needs for security, belonging, love and nurturing, feeling wanted, feeling valued, and being seen as a person are present. Meeting these needs supports optimal development and positive mother-baby relationships.
Babies in the womb perceive, communicate, and learn at multiple levels: mind-to-mind, energetic, and physical-sensorial. Understanding their multilevel capabilities changes our basic notions about babies and our relationship with them. Babies are very aware and sensitive to their mother's experience and the environment. I remember one couple who went to a music concert and when the baby got agitated and was kicking mom, they realized the music was just too loud for their baby, so they left the hall and talked to their baby, "Oh sweetie, that music was too much for you. We're sorry. Daddy and I want you to be comfortable." That consideration and communication builds positive trust and security.
Babies have prenatal memory as if they are taking everything in to learn about human life and build their subconscious programming and ways of being. I've had many parents stunned by watching their children reenact very complex series of events that happened during the pregnancy, including demonstrating how the mother was feeling. There are still many mysteries, yet it is evident that every baby is aware at a sophisticated level of what their mother and father think, feel and do. If you feel more pressure to be the perfect parent reading this, remember that babies seek realness and connection, not perfection. They seek tenderness, delight, laughter, and happiness. They seek the warmth of mother-love and connection.
Each mother and baby will have their own unique way of getting to know one another and being together. It's never too early and it's never too late to deepen your connection with your baby. Here are five tips:
Building mother-baby bonding during pregnancy is truly a life-long legacy of love. Best wishes to you and your baby.
Wendy Anne McCarty, PhD, RN, D.CEP is the Founding chair and Faculty member of the Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology Program at Santa Barbara Graduate Institute (www.sbgi.edu) and the Director of Natural Family Living~Right From the Start. Author of Welcoming Consciousness: Supporting Baby's Wholeness from the Beginning of Life, keynote presenter, CE Trainer, and integrative practitioner supporting families for over 30 years.
*This article contains material originally published in:
Natural Family Living~Right From the Start (2008). Nurturing human potential and optimizing relationships from the beginning of life: 12 guiding principles from primary psychology. Santa Barbara, CA: www.naturalfamilylivingsb.org
To learn more about prenatal bonding and the new understandings of baby consciousness during prenatal period, listen to:
What Babies Want: Interview with Dr. Wendy Anne McCarty, Audio CD available through Amazon, iTunes, and www.wondrousbeginnings.com
Dr. McCarty is available for SB parents through her private practice.
Support during pregnancy to resolve stress, grief, anxiety, and to optimize for birth and bonding in ways that include baby. wmccarty@wondrousbeginnings.com or 965-0980. To be on her mailing list for events, sign up at her website.
Tips for non-verbal communication with children
Crossed arms, tilted head, glaring eyes. We can all recall a time when either a parent or a teacher communicated with us in this way. It is not only frightening on the receiving end, but it can often keep us from being able to respond adequately. What we say with our non-verbal messages can drum up a plethora of feelings from intimidation to openness. And because experts say that at least 75% of communication is non-verbal, it is worthy of our attention. What messages do you convey to your children? If you are unclear, here are a few simple tips to help keep your body language in check:
1. Stop. Take a breath and check in with your body language
2. Get down to your child's physical level to keep you from towering over them
3. Keep an ‘open' body position (arms uncrossed)
5 WAYS TO CONNECT WITH YOUR KIDS
1. "I love you!"
2. "Say some more about that."
3. "Do you feel (emotion) because you (need/want)?"
4. "What's your opinion?"
5. "Let me put this down, so I can give you my full attention."
5 WAYS TO HANDLE CONFLICT
1. "Let's search for a solution together on this one."
2. "Help me understand your point of view."
3. "I'm willing to compromise. Are you?"
4. "How can we see this in a different way?"
5. "Can you help me solve my problem?"
5 WAYS TO EMPOWER YOUR KIDS
1. "Check it out inside."
2. "You choose."
3. "Sounds like you have a problem. Any ideas?"
4. "What do you attribute that to?"
5. "Act as if" or "Pretend like you know how..."
Phrases from: "Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Child in Language
That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages Responsibility"
by Chick Moorman - www.chickmoorman.com
One of the top reasons children display behaviors that parents don’t like is because they are confused by the different environmental rules or uncertainty. When a child understands and knows what is expected and the response for meeting or not meeting an expectation they are less likely to challenge or act out through temper tantrums, aggression or loss of control.
Rules and structure are supports for consistency. Even if your child has two homes and the rules are different, that’s O.K. so long as they know what the rules are. Keeping to rules minimizes anxiety and confusion supporting a consistent environment, gain minimizing the opportunity for behavior challenges. Following a structure includes something as simple as regular bed times, wake up times, homework and play times. Setting expectations is important to raising a successful child even if it is not a parent’s normal manner of operating.
One of the first words a child typically learns is “No”. That word quickly comes back to haunt parents when they begin asking questions or making demands around daily life necessities. To minimize power struggles, “No” responses and to optimize compliance, avoid asking questions. Instead of using phrases like “Can you…”, “Will you…”, “I want you to…”, “It’s time to…”, take those phrases out and simply state “Please…” in place. “Please go brush your teeth.” Using a gentle tone is more likely to elicit a favorable response.
Giving kids choices provides limits, a sense of self-control and an opportunity for success. When children feel that they have some control they are less likely to tantrum, lose control or become aggressive. Saying to your child “Please brush your teeth” may still allow for opposition. “You can brush your teeth now or in five minutes, which do you want to do?” This let’s them know hey will be complying but they have choice over when. If they have a different response you simply repeat the request.
Using praise builds your relationship, you child’s self esteem and increases their compliance. Praising them for doing something independently or when you’ve requested request increases the likelihood of them doing that behavior again.
When your child knows the rules and expectations they will also know what happens when they choose not to abide by them. If there is a tantrum or other unacceptable behavior then 30 –60 seconds of a time out for every year of age is acceptable. Following up with a verbal explanation of why the behavior isn’t acceptable, what they can do instead and an apology. The next step may include natural consequences related to the behavior.
7. AVOID POWER STRUGGLES
Avoiding, reflecting and empathizing with your child’s feelings will cut down on the duration of a tantrum. When you notice that your child is angry, frustrated, confused. Let them know you “understand that they feel “. Reflecting moves away from the issue to teaching feeling identification.
1. Walk the walk. 95% of what children learn is through modeling. If you want your children to become responsible, compassionate, tidy, intelligent people, make sure you are modeling these same behaviors in your everyday life. Let your children see you follow through on your promises and commitments. Show them how you pick up your shoes from the living room and let your children see you reading or learning a new hobby. Children will do as you do, way more often than do what you say. So choose your behaviors carefully because the behaviors you choose, good and bad, will be the behaviors your children learn.
2. Limit "screen time". Children may enjoy watching television, playing video games and surfing the web, but what they really benefit from is quality time with you. Try turning off the television, videos and computers and play a family game, read together or get active. Even just 15 minutes a day of uninterrupted time together can help to improve your relationship with your children. And the best part is, it's free.
3. Breathe. Probably the most important and the most over-looked parenting tip is breathing. Train yourself to take at least five deep breaths before you begin any emotionally charged conversation with your children. If you are really angry, temporarily remove yourself from the immediate situation and take time to breathe. Your thoughts and words will be much more clear and less hurtful if you can develop the ability to calm yourself first.
4. Apologize. As human beings, we all do and say things we later regret because it has caused pain to another person. To help repair any hurt feelings and loss of connection, learn to give a heart-felt apology to your children. Let them know what you meant to say or do and tell them they did not deserve to be treated that way. Allow time to listen to any hurt feelings they may have. They will appreciate your apology and will learn that even adults can make mistakes too.
5. Be quiet. Listening to your children may be one of the most challenging parenting skills to learn. Instead of leading conversations, interrupting with additional or more sophisticated information, suggesting activities or directing play or behaviors, let your children talk first. Let them complete their own ideas and with very few interruptions and plenty of supportive listening. You may be surprised by what your children are capable of achieving when they have a supportive listener on hand.
6. Don't assume. If you feel frequently "let down" or disappointed by your child's behavior, that may be a sign you are operating with inaccurate assumptions about how or who your child should be. Do yourself and your child a favor and learn who she is and where she needs to be both developmentally and intellectually. It may be different than what or who you want her to be, but nevertheless it is the only place she can be. Trying to understand and eventually embracing the differences will allow you both to enjoy a deeper and lifelong connection.
7. Learn to talk. Of course we all know how to talk, but so few of us really know how to talk. Effective communication is a skill that takes deliberate and committed attention. Children deserve to live in an environment where they feel heard and feel they have the freedom to express their feelings without being punished or shamed. Learning to talk with your children using mindful and aware dialog, is a formula for a successful and vital connection.
8. Hands to yourself, please. No matter what the situation is, children do not ever benefit from being physically punished. When one person (the parent) tries to physically overpower another (the child), there will always be some sort of a reaction from the one being controlled. What may seem like submission or cooperation at first from your children may eventually turn into resistance, rebellion, anger, bullying others, becoming fearful, etc. If you are hitting or physically punishing your children, consider getting professional help to give yourself the opportunity to learn other more effective methods of dealing with your anger. Both you and your children will benefit from it.
9. Be a "needs detective". Children's "misbehavior" is almost always an expression of an unmet need. One of the best ways to prevent unwanted behaviors is to try to help your children identify and meet their needs before it turns into "misbehavior". If we punish our children for an outward behavior we find distasteful, the unmet need will continue to surface in other ways until it is finally met. Asking questions such as, "Are you hungry, angry, lonely, sleepy?" etc. will help both you and your child to begin to identify and meet those needs and experience a more harmonious and loving relationship.
10. Know thyself. Parents are human beings, and therefore are imperfect. We need to know what our needs, limitations, boundaries, areas for improvements, and strengths are. This will help us become aware of what we need to work on in order to become the best parents we can be. We are not required to have all of the answers, nor do we always have to say or do the right thing. Let your children see you struggle through an issue with them. Let them see you as human. They will be able to learn that being imperfect is part of a real relationship.
Recently there has been a lot of news surrounding babywearing and slings. The Consumer Product Safety Commission has posted a warning, "advising parents and caregivers to be cautious when using infant slings for babies younger than four months of age." The warning continues to report that suffocation occurred due to fabric and the infants airway being restricted. Babywearing can be beneficial to the parent and/or caregiver when using skilled techniques and properly fitted equipment.
Here are a few rules to keep in mind when choosing your baby carrier:
Please note that whatever carrier you choose, please learn how to use it properly by reading the instruction manual, taking a class or asking a professional. Safety is the utmost importance.
The benefits of babywearing are countless! Research shows that "wearing" your baby can increase weight, reduce baby's crying, and deepen the bond between mothers, fathers, grandparents, adoptive parents, babysitters, and other caregivers. When a baby is close to the chest (or skin-to skin), he/she is able to regulate their body heat successfully. The baby is then able to relate with the caregivers scent of skin,
rhythm of breathing, body movements and heartbeat. This type of stimulation helps baby to regulate their physical and emotional development. The more connected a caregiver is to the baby, the more in tuned they are to their needs, therefore creating a loving, nurturing and healthy relationship from the start. Keeping baby close to you, will assure that you''ll always be close enough for a kiss.
For further information about babywearing and attachment parenting, check out the following websites:
www.babywearinginternational.org
www.thebabywearer.com
www.attachmentparenting.org
Every mother during pregnancy, birth and the early weeks at home with your new baby "needs a community" to feel supported, cared for, and secure in order to relax into being with your baby and being with yourself. Having a baby can be the most amazing experience of your life, yet it can be stressful and have unexpected challenges.
All too often I see mothers having such high standards for themselves. "I should be able to work until I'm due, have my baby, care for my baby, breastfeed, be a wife, return to work, and keep the house up." "What's wrong with me if I feel overwhelmed or overstressed?" "What's wrong with me if I feel depressed, scared of my baby's needs and the 24/7 demands and sheer exhaustion I feel." "What's wrong with me that I cannot seem to process what happened to me and my baby during the birth or can't connect to the love I expected to feel towards my baby?"
I have supported mothers, babies and dads for 30 years and my message to moms is nothing is wrong with you. You are having natural responses to natural needs and natural repercussions when things have been overwhelming or too much to process! Drugs during your labor and surgical births for example can interrupt your body's ability to relax and the flow of "love" hormones.
For so many of us, our lives have gotten faster and fuller! Yet, for a mother and baby to really relax into those slower rhythms that support optimal development for baby, healthy attachment, and support for mom's body and hormones, mothers and babies need to feel it is okay to go slower, to listen to your inner wisdom of what you and your baby need in each moment, feel the permission to follow that, and ask for help! We know that baby's natural tempo is four times slower than adults. For mothers to be attuned and dancing in sync with baby, slowing down and just being able to be is an essential part. Most of us are used to DOING-being busy and productive. Yet attuning to baby and yourself during pregnancy and after your baby is born is rooted in the art of BEING... and allowing others to help with the doing! Fathers have their own set of needs and also need our support to fulfill their role of primary support for mom and baby.
Whether you are the father, grandparent, family member, friend, work boss or co-worker, or you are any one of us in the grocery store or the community policy maker, every act of kindness, consideration, lightening the load, and flexibility you give mothers is a gift worth gold. Everything you can do to give mothers the freedom to just be with their babies and build their special relationship during pregnancy and baby's first year of life, is giving that has a lifetime of unfolding benefits!
Wendy Anne McCarty, PhD, RN
Founding Chair and Faculty, Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology Program
Santa Barbara Graduate Institute, www.sbgi.edu
Director, Natural Family Living~Right from the Start, www.naturalfamilylivingsb.org
Private Practice for professionals and families, www.wondrousbeginnings.com
As many new mothers can attest, the muscle strains of pregnancy are very real and can be more than just a nuisance. The average weight gain of 25 to 35 pounds, combined with the increased stress placed on the body by the baby, may result in severe discomfort. Studies have found that about half of all expectant mothers will develop low-back pain at some point during their pregnancies.1-3 This is especially true during late pregnancy, when the baby's head presses down on a woman's back, legs, and buttocks, irritating her sciatic nerve. And for those who already suffer from low-back pain, the problem can become even worse.
Chiropractic has been shown to reduce labor times in women who are adjusted regularly. Also chiropractic can help stabilize the pelvis to reduce the chance of breech presentation.
During pregnancy, a woman's center of gravity almost immediately begins to shift forward to the front of her pelvis. Although a woman's sacrum-or posterior section of the pelvis-has enough depth to enable her to carry a baby, the displaced weight still increases the stress on her joints. As the baby grows in size, the woman's weight is projected even farther forward, and the curvature of her lower back is increased, placing extra stress on the spinal disks. In compensation, the normal curvature of the upper spine increases, as well.
While these changes sound dramatic, pregnancy hormones help loosen the ligaments attached to the pelvic bones. But even these natural changes designed to accommodate the growing baby can result in postural imbalances, making pregnant women prone to having awkward trips and falls.
What Can You Do?
The ACA recommend the following tips for pregnant women:
Exercise
Health and Safety
Pregnancy Ergonomics: Your Bed and Desk
Nutrition
How Can Your Doctor of Chiropractic Help?
Before you become pregnant, your doctor of chiropractic can detect any imbalances in the pelvis or elsewhere in your body that could contribute to pregnancy discomfort or possible neuromusculoskeletal problems after childbirth.
Many pregnant women have found that chiropractic adjustments provide relief from the increased low-back pain brought on by pregnancy. Chiropractic manipulation is safe for the pregnant woman and her baby and can be especially attractive to those who are trying to avoid medications in treating their back pain. Doctors of chiropractic can also offer nutrition, ergonomic, and exercise advice to help a woman enjoy a healthy pregnancy.
Chiropractic care can also help after childbirth. In the eight weeks following labor and delivery, the ligaments that loosened during pregnancy begin to tighten up again. Ideally, joint problems brought on during pregnancy from improper lifting or reaching should be treated before the ligaments return to their pre-pregnancy state-to prevent muscle tension, headaches, rib discomfort, and shoulder problems.
References
Östgaard HC, et al. Prevalence of Back Pain in Pregnancy. Spine 1991;16:549-52.
Berg G, et al. Low back pain during pregnancy. Obstet Gynecol 1988;71:71-5.
Mantle MJ, et al. Backache in pregnancy. Rheumatology Rehabilitation 1977;16:95-101.
Pediatrics in Paradise
www.SBPediatrics.com
Bedtime stories. Teddy Bears. Snuggly blankets. Another restful evening? For parents who are sleep training their infants, the reality is often anything but sweet dreams.
Understanding the basics of normal infant sleep patterns may help put an end to those sleepless nights.
Meet Sophia
Sophia is a six-month old who is used to being rocked to sleep. Mom is returning to work and desperate for her to sleep through the night. After weeks of unsuccessful "crying it out," Sophia's parents start to receive plenty of advice from their friends and neighbors.
Have reasonable expectations
Many healthy infants may start to sleep through the night between four and six months of age. A few younger babies may sleep through the night, but this is generally the exception to the rule.
The normal sleep-wake cycle
Your baby is not the only one who wakes up through the night. We all have brief awakenings to roll over, fluff the pillow or pull up the covers. The difference is that most of us have learned to fall back asleep on our own.
Sleep associations
We all have activities that we associate with bedtime, such as reading a book, drinking a cup of tea or watching the nightly sports report. Babies have sleep associations too, a bottle of formula, nursing in mom's arms, rocking in a chair, sucking on a pacifier or driving around the block in a minivan.
If your baby is used to one of these sleep associations to fall asleep, chances are your baby may also require the same intervention to fall back asleep after waking up in the middle of the night.
Develop a new bedtime routine
Establishing a new bedtime routine can help develop new sleep associations. A typical routine can include a feeding, bath, singing a song or reading a book.
The goal is to create new sleep associations that encourage your baby to fall asleep on her own, in her own bed without feeding, rocking or cruising State Street at 2 A.M.
Consider how you might be startled and have a hard time falling back asleep if you fell asleep in your bed, but later woke up in the middle of the living room floor. This is no different for the infant that falls asleep in her parent's arms, only to awaken in a strange room, with her parents nowhere in sight.
The infant who learns to fall asleep in her own bed will be less scared and more likely to sooth herself back to sleep.
When your baby wakes it is okay to go into her room to reassure her, but try not to pick her up, rock or feed her. Often times, she will fall back to sleep on her own after ten or fifteen minutes of wakefulness.
Pitfalls
It does not take much to disrupt the sleep training process. Teething, traveling or catching a cold may interfere with sleep training.
After four months of age, most healthy babies no longer require overnight feedings. Babies will likely eat in the middle of the night, however, even if they are not hungry.
Some babies are not ready to sleep through the night at six months of age. Every baby has a different personality and her own needs.
It is never too late to start sleep training. If your baby is not ready, it is okay to wait and try again in a few weeks.
Be consistent
The good news is that sleep training can be accomplished in one or two weeks with consistency and a little luck.
Sophia revisited
We return to our six-month old. At a recent check-up, her parents are reassured that she is thriving and no longer requires overnight feedings. With their pediatrician's guidance, they evaluate Sophia's sleep associations and construct a new bedtime routine. Within two weeks Sophia is falling asleep on her own, in her own crib and sleeping through the night.
Empowering your child to learn how to fall asleep on her own is a life-long gift, for your child and for you. Understanding the basics of sleep and creating a new bedtime routine for your baby will allow you to once again curl up under the blankets and return to those sweet dreams.
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Dr. Dan Brennan is a board certified pediatrician who appreciates a good night of sleep. His column can be found on alternating Fridays in the Daily Sound. To contact Dr. Brennan, please call (805) 563-6211 or visit www.SBPediatrics.com.
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